Give ‘Em What They Want

Regardless of what any given reality show will lead you to believe, I honestly believe that what women in particular are really looking for is a committed connection – a relationship – and not just a casual hook-up. One thing I’ve observed that worries me is that many women are confused about just how to go about finding a special someone and if they do find somebody, how to nourish and maintain that relationship.  Numerous authors have written volumes on these topics which have often only added to the confusion. I don’t know about you, but I really like to keep things simple. In keeping with the theme of this blogsite, I’ve concluded that there are only 3 things that a woman really needs to know and understand. All 3 things begin with the letter  “F” (I just love alliteration) – and since each thing is a topic unto itself – I’ll cover these 3 things over the course of 3 different “Mondays With Medora” posts.

FOOD 

I read somewhere that the scents that attract men the most are vanilla and cinnamon.  Well darlin’, if that’s true, we all need to head to the kitchen pantry instead of the perfume counters!  I don’t know about yours, but my grandmother used to say “the way to a man’s heart is through is stomach” (I can hear you rolling your eyes at this!).  Since I revered my grandmother as the smartest woman God made and still do, I accepted this without question.  However, my daughter is much more skeptical.  One day, she had several friends over – one of whom she had a crush on. They were all playing video games in the upstairs den when she appeared in the kitchen and asked, “Mom, is it true that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”  I realized at that moment that she was open to the possibility that I might be right (!) and that she wanted to find a way to detract her potential boyfriend away from his game and attract him to her. I responded, “well, let’s conduct an experiment.” I asked her if she knew what potential boyfriend’s favorite cookie was and she did. And, y’all, that is the most critical part of the food factor: finding out and making his favorite dish(es). So, we whipped up a batch of oatmeal cookies – with lots of cinnamon and vanilla.  She then took a plate of warm cookies, stood at the foot of the stairs and fanned the aroma up the stairwell without saying a word……..she was almost run over by a thundering herd of video game playing young men running down the stairs for a cookie. Please applaud me for not saying, “I told you so.”

This food and heart connection holds true for other, non-romantic relationships as well.  The reason? We all like/need to feel loved and nurtured – especially as we grow older and begin to lose the very people in our lives who nurtured us as children. Want to show your BFF how much she means to you? Cook her favorite dish for her – especially if you know she’s been going through a tough time.  Do you have an older relative to whom you want to express your love and admiration?  Again, make them a special treat.  It doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated – just something you know that they would enjoy and that perhaps they have not had in quite a while.

“But, I don’t know how to cook!” That’s o.k., many don’t.  But I’d be willing to bet you know how to shop.  So, if you are challenged in the culinary arts, please don’t fret or fear. There is a reason and purpose for prepared foods. For instance, as much as I enjoy cooking, my daughter prefers tomato basil soup and a croissant from La Madeleine when she isn’t feeling well. The point is, just learn what that important person in your life likes.  I promise that you’ll touch their heart in a very profound way, making them feel loved by and important to you.