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Never Stop Being His Girlfriend

August 22, 2011

You’ve probably already guessed what the third “F” is. Because I like to consider myself a lady and also because I do NOT want to have the other pre-deceased Medora’s spinning in their graves, I’ll refer to it as:

F3

If you are in the beginning stages of a new relationship, some of what I have to say is premature because sex too early in a relationship isn’t recommended for a whole bunch of valid reasons. One of which is that you need to allow yourselves  time to discover each other – to find out if you are compatible – if you like and accept each other “as is.” So, the following information is better suited for those in committed relationships (in the Medoras’ perspectives that means marriage) who want to either maintain or recapture the romance. And, yes, it can be done.

I want to share some realities that some of you reading this just don’t want to accept.  But these realities are based on research, biology, observation and plain old common sense. And, the basic reality is this: Men seek quantity – period. They want sex as much as they can get it and sadly, sometimes, love has nothing to do with it. Most women, on the other hand, want quality which means that women are seeking love through sex.

We ALL need physical contact but in an intimate relationship this physical contact takes on much deeper meaning and connection.  I – and I think most women – sincerely believe that monogamy is the only way to achieve this deeper connection. And, regardless of all the press the “players” receive, most men also want, and indeed need, this deeper connection as well. Physical intimacy, then, is vital to a healthy, romantic relationship if you want your relationship to be loving and long lasting.

The primary thing about F3 that you need to know is that for it to work for you, is that you need to respect, admire, appreciate and like, as well as love, that special person in your life.  I never cease to be amazed when I hear of women who marry or commit to someone for any other reason – such as status, money, etc. Personally, I could never be satisfied being with someone whom I didn’t particularly like – no matter who he was or how much money he had.

So, let’s just assume that you are in your relationship for all the right reasons.  If you are, then there’s only one thing you need to keep in mind: never stop being his girlfriend.   In the beginning stages of your relationship, you were probably flirtatious and flattering – besides your personality and looks, it’s how you most likely attracted him. I’ll bet you could hardly wait to see/talk to him, lighting up when he walked into the room. You cared about how you looked and you found positive things to say to him and about him.  And, how did he react to you during that time? Remember? I’ll bet he behaved the same way. Even if you’ve been in your relationship for a long time and things like “life” have intervened, you can recapture some of the romance. Use your imagination – you know what he likes – then follow through. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t ultimately want you. 

With that truth in mind, be forewarned, I’m going to be crude here with another reality: what you have between your 2 big toes isn’t so special. Gasp!  What??!!? No matter what complaints you may have about him – and you may have some very valid ones – believe me when I say he has other options out there. Now I’m NOT saying that all men will check out those other options – that simply isn’t true – as I believe that most men do honor their vows and commitments.  However, trust me when I say that, in spite of all of his flaws, somebody will gladly take your place given half the chance. And, one of the best ways to insure that your man won’t even consider checking out any other option is to make him feel appreciated. He needs to hear it from you, the woman he loves. But, he also needs to have you show him or else he’s not going to be happy in his relationship.  And, if he’s not happy, you’re not going to feel the love that, as a woman, you crave……and need.

So the most simple, basic truth you need to know about F3 is this: Besides sex, which is one of the ways that men “fall in love” with a woman, a man also needs an emotional connection – the one only you, the woman he loves, can provide. So, don’t take anything for granted, focus on why you love/like him and be that someone he looks forward to coming home to.

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