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The Whole

October 10, 2011

How can I adequately express my feelings about the special relationship that I share with the only sibling with whom I share the same parents which makes us each other’s most close relation? We also share a history that none of my other siblings will ever know or understand. The fact that we also enjoy a close friendship is both a bonus and a blessing.

To say that we haven’t always seen eye to eye is an understatement. But, we’ve been able to work through things. We’ve been through a lot together and, because life is imperfect, I am quite sure there are more things we’ll have to help each other through. And, as long as we both shall live, we each know that the other will be there.

My only whole is a sister. When I have told friends with whom I’ve developed an almost-equally-as-close relationship that I “love them like a sister,” it is probably the highest accolade that I can bestow on them. Sometimes, I have to explain what I mean as some women and their sisters don’t get along or they don’t have a sister. And when this is the case, I truly feel sorry for them as having a sister is one of the greatest blessings of my life.

And, because I see her as a blessing, I try hard to be grateful and not take her for granted. In other words, I work at the relationship – as does she. I think that is why we consider each other friends and not just two people who happen to be related. I can’t imagine life without her – and I sincerely hope that we are allowed many more years as we both need each other.

I remind others of this when they share any issues they might have with a sibling or siblings. As time goes by, siblings will probably come to an awareness that on some level they need each other more than realized because a sibling is a living connection to your childhood and therefore your own personal history. Granted, some would rather not – and should not – remember or re-visit their childhood due to abuse, mistreatment, etc. However, for most, I’ve learned that most sibling “issues” arise from petty grievances and jealousies. And, as adults, they just can’t seem to get past those issues. This is sad.

So, my hope is that those with “issues” can somehow resolve them or at least put them aside and find common ground that can be appreciated and nurtured.

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