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I Had to Wait 2 Months to Calm Down Over This One

November 16, 2011

So, it’s O.K. to divorce your spouse and “start all over again” with another relationship if said spouse develops Alzheimers – just “make sure she has custodial care.” At least behaving in such a callous, heartless way is o.k. according to 700 Club televangelist Pat Robertson.  But, why stop at Alzheimers?

My mother – Medora #4 – shared a story about a work colleague that literally made her lose all respect for that colleague.  His wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation – the whole she-bang. All throughout her ordeal, he seemed supportive and at the end of her treatments, he planned a weekend getaway at a bed and breakfast. The B & B he had booked was in a city where he had to travel for business the week before, so the plan was for the wife to join him there for the weekend.  She did and went to the room for which she had been left a key for at the hospitality desk.

When she entered the room, her husband was waiting for her…..along with a strange woman. Puzzled, to say the least, she asked what was going on.  His response? “I need a ‘whole’ woman – not a partial one.  I want a divorce.”

When my mother related this story, I was equally as horrified.  I could never, ever imagine even considering deserting an ill spouse, or any other family member.  And, I’m so very thankful that my step-father felt the same way.  You see, not long after my mother heard the story about that poor woman’s sorry-excuse-for-a-human being husband’s reaction to the effects of her cancer, she learned that she had ovarian cancer.  It took her two years to die from it.  During that time, my step-father helped her, lifted her at times and – bottom line – fulfilled his vow of “through sickness and through health.”

Now, perhaps it’s not fashionable to think this way, but folks, I believe that a vow is a vow. And in the area of the world that I come from your word is your bond and should apply to ALL areas of your life.  Folks do get divorced – and while I don’t like the idea, it does happen. Indeed, there are often very reasonable and valid reasons to divorce – like if there is abuse or adultery involved. But, to divorce because your spouse becomes ill? Really? And, to have a “man-of-the-cloth” endorse the idea? Really? If a couple has children, what message does this send to them?  “Gee – it’s a good thing that I remained healthy or mom/dad may have ‘divorced’ me?” Think about it. 

Even for those who aren’t believers in a deity or Karma, surely they’ve observed life enough to realize that – to quote Justin Timberlake – “what goes around…comes all the way back around.” So, if I were one of those spouses who just can’t find it in themselves to uphold their vow, I’d be worried about my own future. In fact, I’d be afraid…I’d be really afraid.

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