Easy to Talk to

It happens everytime I attend a social gathering.  As I’m mixing and mingling, getting to know folks I’ve just met or getting re-acquainted with those I haven’t seen in awhile, I find myself in deep conversation with someone who is divulging deep concerns, secrets, etc.  99% of the time, these conversations are with someone whom I’ve never met. And, almost every single time, during the course of the conversation, they’ll say, “I can’t believe that I’m telling/sharing with you all of ‘this’! What do you do?” I usually explain that I’m a “relationship expert” and then give a very  brief explanation as to what qualifies me as an expert.  But, in reality, “what I do” is simple…….I listen.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have strong opinions about most things which I’m not shy about expressing if asked.  But, I am one of those people who find other people more interesting than myself. As I’ve said numerous times, I know my own story too well. What I don’t know is other peoples’ stories – and most of them are fascinating. Plus, I think that other folks sense that whatever they tell me will not be used against them in any way – and it won’t. Ever.

And, that talent – being able to listen before commenting – is what, in the words of a television producer I’ve worked with, makes me “so easy to talk to.” Please don’t think I’m bragging because I’m not.  Rather, I’m sharing a key trait to relationship building: listening to the other. Try it.  BUT, remember that whatever is shared need not be shared with anyone else. Doing so is gossip which is a very bad thing.  Discretion, however, in all things is a good and is another key to building strong relationships.