Break These Habits
I personally know of several folks who are either looking for a job because they are unemployed or wishing that they could change jobs because they are dissatisfied with the one they have. If you fall into either one of these categories it’s not good. Unfortunately for job seekers, it’s an employer’s market out there. Employers can be choosy. And they are, so I’m told, due to the sheer numbers of job seekers.
So, if you have a job be very thankful and do everything within your power to be the best employee. Now, I’m not suggesting that you bow to any illegal or unethical demands made by an employer or to accept abusive behavior of any kind. Rather, what I’m suggesting is that you be the best employee that your employer has – the kind that they would think twice about before laying off or firing.
There are things – habits to either avoid or break – that can most certainly guarantee you the reputation of being a great employee. I ran across an excellent article that outlines those habits that can sabotage your job. Here’s the link: http://financiallyfit.yahoo.com/finance/article-113821-11724-4-10-work-habits-that-could-get-you-fired?ywaad=ad0035&nc
Happy New Year folks! I sincerely hope that everyone who wants/needs a job finds one……SOON! And, remember, to increase the odds that you will be or remain employed, resolve to break those habits that could be standing in the way of your success.
The Sound of Silence
Happy New Year folks! I want to begin the New Year by sharing an insight from the wisest woman alive that I know, my grandmother – Medora III.
We were visiting on the phone recently and were marveling at our shared perception that the week between Christmas and New Year’s seemed to last and drag on forever. We both pondered this and concluded that perhaps it was due to the fact that the activity level for most people subsides significantly compared to the weeks leading up to Christmas.
I also think that during that week, many folks tend to spend some time reflecting on the past year and making plans for the year ahead. The good thing about using time that week to reflect is that – to do so effectively – you often find yourself thinking in silence, without distractions. And, particularly after a busy and frenetic holiday season, doing so can seem to make time stand still.
Which brings me to Medora III’s insight: Even though it might be somewhat boring or dull, we should welcome those times when the activity level in our lives isn’t as exciting as other times as opportunities to reflect, recharge and maybe even regroup. That time alone, in silence, is good for both your physical and mental health.
Never one to ignore Medora III’s advice, I have done just that the past week and now feel prepared for all of the challenges and blessings that are sure to come in the New Year. I sincerely hope that you are too!
Chocolate Whiskey Cake
There’s a cute story behind this recipe. Medora III took a pledge when she was a teenager to never let a drop of the ‘ol demon rum pass her lips. And at the age of 93, she has yet to imbibe either a beer, cocktail or glass of wine. Her family – self included – has tried to convince her that at her age, the pledge has probably long expired. To this day, even when everyone else is enjoying a toast or a sip, the strongest thing she drinks is iced tea. HOWEVER, she never hesitated to cook with whiskey. It seemed to be her flavoring of choice as another holiday favorite of hers was whiskey balls, which, by the way, aren’t cooked. This means that the alcohol content in the balls remained – it wasn’t cooked out as in the recipe below. When I pointed out this fact to her, she just smiled. I’ll post the whiskey ball recipe later.
CHOCOLATE WHISKEY CAKE
Preheat oven to 350°.
Spray a 9” X 13” pan with non-stick baking spray with flour.
Place 2 cups of chopped pecans on an ungreased cookie sheet and put in oven. Toast for 6 – 8 minutes. Remove from oven and cool.
In a bowl, combine:
1 1 pound, 2.25 ounce package of Devil’s food cake mix. (Medora III likes Duncan Hines)
1 cup of buttermilk
2/3 cup of canola oil
3 eggs
¼ cup of whiskey
With an electric mixer, beat at low speed until combined. Then, increase mixer speed to medium and beat for 2 minutes. Stir in:
1 cup of miniature semisweet chocolate chips
1 cup of toasted, cooled pecans
Pour batter into the prepared pan and place in pre-heated oven. Bake for 25 – 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean.
Remove from oven and cool before frosting with:
2 16 ounce cans of milk chocolate frosting (Medora III likes Pillsbury)
Top frosting with:
1 cup of the remaining toasted, cooled pecans
To a Good Man
Today, December 28, 2011 would have been my paternal grandfather’s 100th birthday. He didn’t make it to 100 – but he tried. He passed away on January 3, 2007 – exactly one week after his 95th birthday.
I’d call him every year on his birthday and instead of saying “I’m 95 today” he’d say very joyfully, “I’m 95%!” He always said that if he made it to 100 – 100% – that he would then be perfect. Well, he didn’t make it to perfection, but he came very close.
Reflecting back on how he would state his age, I realize that he wasn’t just trying to be funny. He was actually being rather philosophical – although he wouldn’t see it as such. You see, my grandfather’s life had been an extraordinary and sometimes very difficult journey. He suffered great hardship from a very young age and didn’t always lead the most exemplary life as an adult. I truly loved hearing his stories and as I would learn more and more, I was amazed by the fact that despite his circumstances at any given time, he knew how to enjoy life. He loved people and always had a warm, genuine smile on his face.
I think that he had such a good attitude about life because he wasn’t too hard on himself. Oh, he was ambitious and competitive enough to make a good living for his family, but he always seemed to be able to handle stresses in life easily. And, perhaps he was able to do so because he gave himself time – time to grow, time to learn, etc. He was smart enough to realize that at age 35, 45, etc. he didn’t know as much as he would know the older he became. He also understood that with aging comes wisdom – either that or dementia – so growing older never seemed to bother him.
It’s taken me a few years to figure out just what he meant and was really trying to say when he last said to me, “I’m 95%!” And since I’ve realized the underlying meaning of how he stated his age, I’m not so hard on myself. I’ve got quite a ways to go before I reach “perfection” but on the journey to that destination I will follow my grandfather’s example and continue to grow and learn.
So, Happy Birthday Papaw! You were a good, 95% perfect man who was loved, appreciated and will always be missed.
Being There
Whew! The push and whirlwind of activity that leads up to Christmas is over. I do love all of the activities and festivities, but I have to admit that when December 26th arrives, I am relieved. And, I’m particularly relieved if the holiday season passes and no one I’m close to is sick, in the hospital or going through a difficult time.
This year, though everyone in my immediate family is doing well, I do have some friends and extended family members who are facing challenges and my heart aches for them. One friend’s mother is dying, another friend’s mother fell and sustained a concussion and head wound and a great aunt has fallen several times and may have to be hospitalized. All of these events happened over the last few days and reminds me that “life” happens and goes on in despite any plans we mortals might have made for parties, celebrations, etc.
It also reminds me that despite any plans we make, we must always be willing and able to change those plans if someone needs us. And, we must be willing to do so cheerfully. The person going through a tough time doesn’t need to be made to feel guilty or like they are imposing when they reach out for emotional support. It’s part of the unwritten “being a friend” deal you make when you have a friend relationship with someone. Being a friend also applies to family relationships – something some folks sadly forget as they let family issues/dynamics interfere with doing the right thing.
So, what is the best response to someone who needs you to be a friend to them? It’s really quite simple. After you learn about or listen to their problem, ask them this question: What can I do to help you? Assuming that their response is reasonable and that you can act upon it, then be willing (graciously) to act upon their request. It’s what “being there” is all about.
Fran’s Black Russian Bundt Cake
This recipe is from another FABULOUS red-head who likes to cook. It makes a very impressive and appreciated Christmas gift – one which I’ve personally made and given to many folks. My soldier son enjoyed sharing it with friends and colleagues when he was deployed to Afghanistan. My handsome half – and unapologetic chocolate lover – really enjoys it because it is extremely moist. I do enjoy keeping my men happy!
FRAN’S BLACK RUSSIAN BUNDT CAKE
1 (18.26 ounce) box of yellow cake mix
1 (3.4 ounce) package of instant chocolate pudding
4 eggs
¼ cup of Kahlua
½ cup sugar
1 cup canola oil
¼ cup dark rum
¾ cup water
Glaze:
½ cup powdered sugar
¼ cup Kahlua
Spray a bundt pan with no-stick baking spray with flour. Preheat oven to 350°.
Whisk together the cake mix and pudding mix. Add eggs Kahlua, sugar, oil, rum and water. Mix 2 minutes with an electric mixer at low speed.
Pour into the bundt pan and bake 50 – 60 minutes or until a bamboo skewer inserted all the way comes out clean.
Remove from oven and cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove from pan.
Make glaze by stirring together Kahlua and powdered sugar until smooth. Poke about 8 holes with a sharp knife on the top of the cake and spoon glaze over the top of the cake and let drizzle down the sides.
Is This Good News??
Last week, there was an article published about a survey that discovered that teens are drinking alcohol less. (http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20111215/NEWS01/112150335/Survey-finds-more-teens-using-pot-fewer-drink-alcohol) Why? Well, it seems that all of the PSAs about the dangers of drinking and driving and the nightly news that heralds the consequences of drinking and driving have been effective and more teens now see drinking alcohol as potentially dangerous. Which is good.
BUT, the same article states that more teens are using pot because they don’t see it as dangerous. Hmmmm. This is not good? Why are teens using either? BOTH alcohol and pot are illegal for them to use. And, for very good reason – their brains aren’t fully developed and really aren’t until their late teens/early twenties. Don’t believe me? Ask a brain scientist.
However, I don’t want to get into a discussion about brain science – rather, I just want to put a few questions out there for all of us to ponder. The first question that pops into my mind: Why do teens feel the need to medicate with either drugs or alcohol? What is it about their lives that needs to be neutralized by a substance? My next question is: Where are the adults? Where are the folks who are supposed to be there helping young people navigate the perilous waters of life? Are they setting good examples – you know – like obeying the laws themselves regarding drug and alcohol use?
I guess you’ve picked up on the fact that I don’t think the news about teen drug and alcohol use is good. In fact, I think it is tragic. But what is more tragic is the fact that the adults in the lives of teens who use these substances are failing them. All adults – notice I said all and not just parents – need to do a better job for and with our most precious resource. To borrow a thought from Jacqueline Kennedy, if we mess up raising our most precious resource – our children – nothing else we accomplish or achieve in life individually or as a society matters. Nothing.
The Payoff
This week, there have been many reports in the news about “Secret Santas” who have paid off the layaway balances for perfect strangers at various stores. The spirit of such giving has been infectious as there have also been reports of others paying for groceries, gas, etc.
Hearing those stories are heart-warming and remind me of the “Secret Santa” we have in my own family. My grandmother – Medora #3 – was gifted with a generous and compassionate spirit, one that is tempered with humility and pragmatism. Growing up, more than anything she said, I watched and observed the things she did – particularly what she did for others.
One recent example of her giving and loving heart was during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. She is a survivor of the storm and upon return to her home after it was safe to do so, she was learning about the struggles of others who had lost everything. She was fortunate and felt very blessed as her home had only sustained minor damage and her heart ached for those who found themselves homeless. For a time, many people were literally roaming the streets dazed and confused as they processed the enormity of their loss and tried to salvage what was left of their lives. My grandmother decided that what many of those folks needed beside food, clothing and shelter – which many churches and non-profit organizations were trying to provide – was money. So, any time she ventured out, she’d go by her bank and withdraw several twenty dollar bills. Then, whenever she’d encounter someone who looked like they could use some help, she’d very discreetly and quietly hand them some money.
I learned about this several years after the hurricane during casual conversation with her. I wasn’t shocked by her generosity as much as I was over the fact that she didn’t mention it sooner. But then I had to consider the source. Of course she wouldn’t brag about handing out twenty dollar bills to strangers as she wouldn’t see it as anything more than something that she should and ought to do. Learning what she had done for others – and perfect strangers at that – only made me admire, respect and love her even more. And that folks, was her payoff.
Sour Cream Pound Cake
My Uncle Gary and I swap recipes all the time. He is one of the best bakers I know and this recipe of his is world famous. Why? Because it is also my soldier son’s favorite cake recipe and was sent to him during 2 deployments to Afghanistan. It also makes a great Christmas gift. You can divide it among loaf pans or make one big one, wrap it in cellophane and make a statement.
Uncle Gary’s Sour Cream Pound Cake
3 cups sugar
1 cup butter – softened
6 eggs at room temperature – separated
1 ½ cups sour cream
1 ½ tsps. vanilla extract (I use Mexican vanilla extract)
½ tsp almond extract
3 cups flour
½ tsp. soda
½ tsp. salt
Pre-heat oven to 325°.
Grease and flour a tube pan, 2 loaf pans OR 9 pint size (16 ounce) wide-mouth glass canning jars (after mixing batter together, follow the baking instructions above). If using a tube pan or loaf pans, use the baking instructions below.
Whisk together flour, soda and salt in a medium sized bowl and set aside.
Separate eggs, placing yolks in a small bowl and whites in a large mixing bowl. Beat egg whites with an electric mixer on high until stiff peaks form and set aside. Beat egg yolks with a fork and set aside.
Combine softened butter, sugar, 6 beaten egg yolks and mix well in a large mixing bowl with a mixer at medium speed.
Add sour cream and extracts to butter mixture and mix well.
Gradually add flour mixture to above mixture and beat for 4 – 5 minutes on medium speed.
With a rubber spatula, gently fold in beaten egg whites into the mixture.
Bake for 1 ½ hour is using a tube pan and 1 hour and 10 minutes if using loaf pans.
Use a bamboo skewer to test for doneness.
When done, remove from oven and cool in pan on a wire rack for 5 – 10 minutes before removing from pan and cooling on a wire rack completely before serving/slicing.
Are You a Neurosurgeon?
So, I’m minding my own business eating a very yummy salad at Chik-Fil-A one afternoon in the midst of Christmas shopping, enjoying the day and pleased with the purchases I’d made as I knew they were things that would be enjoyed and appreciated. I was in a good mood.
Sitting diagonally across from me was what appeared to be a young family: a father, mother and a young boy of about three. What I witnessed made my hair explode – situations like I’m about to describe usually do. I’m surprised I’m not bald.
Both parents where eating – as was the little boy – and at the same time BOTH parents were tapping away on their respective smart phones. I was amazed at their phone activity so – I’ll admit it – I continued to observe them as I was eating. Questions popped into my head: Was there some emergency? Were they life-saving physicians – like neurosurgeons? I don’t think that the answer to either of those questions was “yes” as I observed both of them smiling and laughing at their devices and occasionally looking up at each other to share something.
The boy – on several occasions – tried quietly and politely, I must add, to get their attention. He couldn’t, so involved were his parents in whatever they were doing on their phones. They weren’t smiling and laughing with him. And that is what made my hair explode. What “message” were they sending to that innocent, impressionable boy? What could be so important that neither of them could put away their phone to simply enjoy being together as a family? What was that young boy going to learn about his own importance to them, human interaction and – well, let’s just throw it out there – manners?
It’s a good thing that I DO have manners otherwise I would have walked over to the adults and given them an earful on behalf of their child whom they were ignoring. I didn’t – but I really wanted to.
Medora Online 