It’s Almost Here…

Yeah…..the big DAY….it’s almost here. The day that romantics live for and the rest of the universe dreads: Valentine’s Day.

Which brings me to something funny that happened to me recently that reminded me of shopping for Valentine’s Day.  I went grocery shopping on Super Bowl Sunday during the very beginning of the game.  I know, I know – almost blasphemous to do so to some. However, I figured it would be a great time as most everyone else would be at a watch party of some kind. And, I was correct.

So I happily navigated my grocery cart down unobstructed aisles and merrily shopped for the things on my lengthy list, having no problem finding all the needed items.  I was preparing for a cooking segment the next day on a local TV morning show and one of the items on my list was a bag of round tortilla chips.

Turning the corner of the chip aisle, I noticed a woman standing in front of the section I was headed for taking a picture with her phone.  I was puzzled until I reached her and noticed that the entire section was almost completely empty of tortilla chips.  Zero, zip, nada save for – and I counted them – 2 crushed bags of regular chips and 1 lone bag of the round variety which became mine. So glad she didn’t want them – she was there first – which would have thrown my timing off (I would have had to go to another store) which meant that I would miss the Superbowl halftime show.

Fortunately for me, she was there to simply document the sight of the empty shelves and we shared a good laugh.  The men must have been the ones shopping as the chips are all gone – yet there seemed to be plenty of anything else in the store – she said.  I agreed and said that all a man needs for a party is beer, chips and a can of bean dip.  I didn’t actually check the beer or bean dip supply, but I suspect that both were in low supply or non-existant as well.

So why does that experience remind me of Valentine’s Day?  Well, because I remember an episode of “Married With Children” where Al Bundy was battling another man for the last remaining mangled Valentine’s Day card, damaged heart shaped box of chocolates and wilted rose at a store.  You had to have seen it to understand how hilarious the episode was and how it captured the fear that strikes the heart of a man who realizes that Valentine’s Day has snuck up on him…..and he has nothing.  Zero, zip, nada.

So, you fellas out there, here’s a heads up that tomorrow is THE day. Get thee to a store and buy something that will appropriately relay your feelings AND that fits within your budget. She may say it doesn’t matter all that much, that Valentine’s Day should be everyday, blah, blah, blah.  And she’s right – every day SHOULD be Valentine’s Day.  But, YOU better not forget because she sure hasn’t and won’t. Trust me.