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Did Your Valentine Disappoint You?

February 15, 2012

It’s the day after. Many of you had an absolutely marvelous Valentine’s Day – and many of you didn’t. Some of you may, indeed, be depressed today because your Valentine either didn’t celebrate the day with you as you had envisioned or they didn’t do much at all – if anything.

So what do you do?  How do you pull out of the disappointed feelings – the envy at other’s bouquets, cards, candy….or expensive jewelry? Particularly the expensive jewelry?  You know what I’m talking about. The ring. The rock. That one piece of jewelry that most women in a serious relationship are hoping for if they don’t already have it – an engagement ring.

Well, first of all, after you’ve allowed yourself to have a good therapeutic, pain-purging cry  – and face it, whether we like it or not, Valentine’s Day dredges up all sorts of emotions and expectations – wash your face and ponder exactly why you are disappointed. Is your serious relationship a long-term one and your fella just won’t move to that final commitment even though you’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting?  Have you ever really asked yourself why? Does he even want to commit….to you or to anyone?

I had someone call me recently to discuss their relationship and its perceived deficiencies. After listening, my simple response was this: Actions speak much louder than words. If the one you love and want to make a life with isn’t acting like that is the same thing they have in mind and moving towards/talking about that same end, then you need to re-think the relationship.  People will often stay in a relationship until they find someone else, or because it is convenient or comfortable.  They might have no intention of making that final commitment because the other person (you) – in reality – isn’t “the one.” That doesn’t mean that your love-interest is a bad person.  But, it might just mean that the relationship is bad…..for you.

Now, this is a hard reality to accept – especially when you are in love with a person who isn’t responding to you the way that you need them to respond. But the best thing you can do for yourself, is to come to terms with and accept the reality, cut bait, give yourself time to recover from the heartbreak and then go fish in another pond.

Trust me when I tell you that somewhere – out there – there IS someone meant just for you. And, one day – when you do find that special someone who is as nuts about you as you are about them – just about every day will be Valentine’s Day.  You see, the right relationship “feels” that way for both parties.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 17, 2012 2:55 pm

    To bad some didn’t realize this until after they put on the big Valentine’s day show… and they don’t really know what they want.

    • February 17, 2012 5:12 pm

      If I understand what you’re saying, you felt obligated to put on a big show but you don’t know what you really want? OR, did someone else put on a big show for you and you don’t know what you really want? Neither is a good place to be and you have my sympathies.

      When it comes to love and romance, it’s important to follow what’s in your heart and be honest with yourself and your other someone so that you’re not doing what someone else expects as that usually leads to hurt feelings at best and devestated feelings at worst.

      Ponder your situation and look inward so that you can come to terms with what you really want and need from the relationship.

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