Sibling Relationships
October began the month with one of my sibling’s birthday. And, his birthday inspired me to write this month’s “Monday’s With Medora” blogs about the relationship between siblings.
I grew up in several blended families as both of my parents practice what I like to refer to as “legal polygamy.” One of my parents has been married a total of 6 times (!!) and the other only 3. No, we aren’t Mormon. I make no judgments about the multiple marriages as I don’t for a moment believe that either of them began their young adult years intending to have so many marriages between them. But they did. And, one of the consequences of those marriages is the various permutations of family that evolved and of which I am a part.
Originally, my family was the “typical” American family: Two parents who had only been married to each other and who had two children. So, in my early childhood, I only had one sibling and that’s how my sibling count may have remained except that… life happened. Now, if my count is correct, I have had a total of 17 (!!!) siblings comprised of whole, half, adopted, step and ex-step. In all these various permutations and family situations, except for one period of time, I have always been the oldest. As such, I believe that I have a very unique perspective on sibling relationships. And so, this is what I want to share this month with you – that perspective.
So, if you find yourself falling into one or all of the listed categories, my hope is that this month’s posts might offer some insight into how to blend and how to cope in a situation not of your making. If you’re the parent of a blended family, I hope that the posts are helpful for you as well as they will provide insight to some of the feelings that your children – whether biological or not – might be experiencing.
And, yes, this is a serious topic – but if you’ve been reading my other posts – you know that I like to keep things entertaining and lighthearted. I hope that I don’t disappoint you!
Smothered Steak
This last recipe of the month is a guaranteed hit with the men-folk. How do I know? Well…I actually caught my handsome half – whom I thought had been civilized by his Mama – eating directly from the pan and licking the spoon after dinner. Sort of the main course equivalent of drinking directly from the milk jug. ( I know, I know.) When I caught him – he grinned sheepishly, giving me that smile-that-I-can-NEVER-resist-because-he’s-adorable, and said, “well, it’s just so good – I couldn’t help myself.” What better testamonial is needed for a recipe?
Smothered Steak
2 – 4 servings
4 pieces of cubed steak – about 1 ¼ pounds
Salt
Pepper
½ cup flour
½ tsp. garlic powder
4 TBSPS. vegetable oil ( I prefer to use neutral taste coconut oil that you can find online or in health food stores/markets)
1/8 cup flour from flour in the re-sealable bag that you used to coat the meat
½ large onion, sliced into thin slices (I slice the onion on a mandolin, but you can also use a knife)
1- 10.75 ounce can of condensed beef broth
Place steak on a large plate or cookie sheet and salt and pepper BOTH sides to taste.
Place flour and garlic powder in a re-sealable gallon sized plastic bag and add meat one piece at a time. Shake to coat on all sides. Remove from bag and place floured meat on another plate or cookie sheet.
Heat 2 TBPS. of vegetable oil in a heavy, flat-bottomed skillet or pan (at least 12 inches) that has a tight fitting lid over medium-high heat – about 1 minute. I use a large Dutch oven. Add steak pieces
and brown for about 3 minutes per side. You may have to do this in batches – depending on the size of the steaks. Remove from skillet and set aside until all pieces are brown.
Add remaining 2 TBSPS. of vegetable oil and 1/8 cup of flour to skillet. Cook and stir until thick
and smooth, scraping up the bits of fried flour into the mixture. Add ½ can of the broth and stir.
Return meat to the skillet and reduce heat to low. Place the onions on top of the meat and pour remaining ½ can of broth over meat and onions. Place lid on skillet and simmer on low for about 60 minutes or until meat is fork- tender and has formed a thick gravy.
Serve with mashed potatoes and something green. The men-folk may not want the green, but they
need some veggies each day. So hang tough.
Enjoying the Job From Hell
I speak from personal experience on this topic. In the past I have had not 1 but 3 different jobs that were – and this is an understatement – in different ways and for different reasons like having to work in a living Hell. And for various reasons, except for one, I had to endure those times in Hell for a season because I needed the jobs.
Today, I know several folks who are in the same position I have found myself in the past: They hate
their jobs. Interestingly, it’s not the function of the job that they hate but rather the climate, the expectations, the pressure to perform. It’s also because in today’s economic climate, EVERYONE is on guard – so it seems that most employees are in survival mode, just trying to hang on to the job that they do have which creates a dysfunctional, non-creative, tense work atmosphere. Not good. How would anyone like to have to get up each and every day of the workweek with the realization that NOTHING is going to be pleasant that day and that at the end of the day, you will have been overworked and frustrated, dreading the next day and the next with no end in sight? Really not good.
So, how do you endure and attempt to find something positive about a job you hate? I’m not going to lie and give you a bullet point list of “woo-woo” tips and hints. They won’t help. The only thing that I can share that honestly kept me going during those times for me was the fact that as long as I showed up with a good attitude and did my best, whomever I worked for kept putting a check in my bank account every 2 weeks, paid all or some of my health benefits, provided some sort of paid-time-off and partially funded my retirement account. Yes, it all came down to the money. And in today’s economy, for so many folks that’s what it all boils down to as well. That’s o.k.
But what about job satisfaction, personal fulfillment, creativity, etc.? Well, those may have to be put on hold when considering the practicalities and realities about the current job market. It’s an employer’s market and if you don’t think that you could be easily replaced – think again. Too many really good, talented folks are looking so employer’s can “cherry pick” from the best and brightest.
Bottom line? Be grateful for the job that you do have – no matter how hellish the circumstances –because it could be worse: You could be in the multitudinous ranks of the best and the brightest who are all looking for a job because they are unemployed. And if you were to ask any of them, that, my friend, is truly Hell.
How About a New Attitude?
After my daughter graduated from college, she found it hard to find what she considered to be a suitable job for a recent college graduate with a degree in psychology. She had no interest in going on to graduate school, wanted to be financially independent (thank God!) but didn’t quite know where to look – although she was looking and applying for various positions – or even what she really wanted to do.
It was and is a soft job market. And, knowing that she also needed to find a job that could support her as well as provide benefits, I asked her what she thought her prospects looked like for finding such a job. “Oh, Mom,” she sighed, “the only company I know of hiring that offers benefits is Starbucks.” “Well, have you applied there?” I asked. “I can’t work at Starbucks! I have a college degree from a private university and graduated from ____ (the top girl’s college preparatory school in Texas)!” she exclaimed incredulously.
I thought a moment, and then replied, “Well let’s put this into perspective. As long as the work you do is moral, legal and/or ethical, then I really don’t care what you do. And, also remember that when all is said and done, doctors are contract laborers and lawyers are hourly workers. Mind you both doctors and lawyers are very highly paid contract and hourly workers, but what they do is still…work. All good, decent and right work – conducted with the right attitude – is dignified and necessary for and to society.”
“Hmm…so I guess pole dancing is out? I hear they make GREAT tips,” she teased. “I don’t think that would fall into the ‘moral’ category based on how I raised you – so no,” I replied.
I’m proud to say that not only did she apply and get a job at Starbucks, because her flexible schedule was initially part-time, she found 2 other part time jobs (both involved teaching small children) that helped her figure out if what she really wanted to do was to become a certified teacher. She also achieved her goal of financial independence rather quickly – primarily because she changed her attitude about work. And, she did work hard – something I am still very proud of to this day.
She eventually did find a very satisfying position in a field she never imagined that she’d be suited for – and she did that on her own as well. When I asked her advice to young job seekers? She had this to offer, “Not that I think that all that I went through and had to do to find a job I really enjoy was what everyone should do but I do think it shows that you just have to be patient and try out different things to find out what you want to do. And because ___ (her younger brother) saw me struggle, it helped keep him focused in college because he didn’t want to have to go through all that.” Just for the record, the impact of her struggles on her younger brother is news to me. And, for that blessing, I’m very grateful.
So, the take-away for this post is this and it is quite simple: a job is a job. And, no job is beneath anyone. Period. Even in a bad economy, there are jobs of some kind. But, you just might have to adjust your expectations temporarily and your attitude….permanently. For the record, my daughter is Medora #6 and I was as proud of the day she achieved her “black apron” at Starbucks (those of you who work/have worked there know the significance of THAT achievement!) after working there for almost 2 years as I am of her now that she has a different job that she really loves…one that she got on her own merits and good attitude.
Creamy Macaroni and Cheese: My Boys’ Favorite
This week, I wanted to share with you a recipe that also happens to be a favorite for all 3 of my boys
– my 2 sons and my Handsome Half. My daughter and I like it as well – but the boys REALLY like it. I’ve found, in fact, that this particular recipe is a hit with most folks – even those who are accustomed to the “blue box” macaroni and cheese, which I don’t allow in my pantry. It just has an unnatural orange color and too many chemicals for me to serve it in all good conscience.
CREAMY MACARONI ANDCHEESE
Serves 8 – 10
2 quarts of water
2 tbsp. oil
1 tbsp. salt
8 ounces elbow macaroni
¼ cup butter
1/3 cup flour
3 cups warm milk
1 tsp. salt
½ tsp pepper
8 ounces Cheese Whiz
½ cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly coat a 2 quart casserole dish with cooking spray.
In a large pan, bring water to a boil. Add oil and salt. Stir in macaroni and cook for 15 minutes. Drain in colander and rinse with cool water.
While macaroni is cooking, melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add flour and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes or until bubbly – do not allow to brown. Whisk in milk that has been warmed in the microwave for 2 minutes and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Add salt, pepper and cheese spread. Stir until cheese spread is melted. Remove from heat.
Add macaroni to cheese sauce and stir gently. Pour into casserole dish and bake for 20 minutes until hot and bubbly. Remove from oven and top with grated cheese. Put back in oven and bake another 10 minutes.
How to Survive and Succeed in Life Without Being a Bitch or a Bully
It finally published! The book that I’d been working on since late last summer and finished right after the first of the year is here. It was a long gestation process – and I learned quite a lot. The most significant thing that I learned is that the publishing of an actual book is quite different from the organizers I’ve released. Very different. But, I do have to admit that I enjoyed all the steps involved in the process. Each one of those steps was different and kept things quite interesting. And, with October being “National Bullying Prevention Month,” I can’t help but think that the stars were aligned so that it would publish right now.
The first question I’m asked by almost everyone is why this topic? My answer is very simple: I don’t like having to deal with bitches/bullies. Do you? And, I am dismayed by how society and the media seems to promote this sort of bad behavior (pick any given “reality” show for an example). So the book is my response to that.
The title seems to take most by surprise as it is a bit “in your face.” But, from a marketing standpoint, that’s a good thing. Even before it was published, I began getting serious interest from the media. My first TV interview was today on WOAI in San Antonio. The conversation was quite lively and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The host really seemed to enjoy taking the quiz in Chapter 7 to determine whether or not she was a bitch/bully. She was quite relieved to learn that she was not!
If anyone in the blogosphere reads it, I would love to hear your response/reaction/comments, etc.
You may contact me via email: Medora@medoraonline.com. Oh, and FYI, an audiobook is being engineered as I write this as well as an e-book. I’ll keep you posted when those formats are released.
Confetti Corn Dip
Confetti Corn Dip
Some of my favorite recipes are ones that I had absolutely nothing to do with. This is one of them and is ALWAYS a crowd pleaser. I got it from a cousin who brought it to a family gathering. It was the first appetizer to go. And, all ages seemed to really enjoy it.
If you’ve been following the “Foodie Fridays” blogs and recipe, you’ll probably notice that I like recipes that folks will actually eat. I can do the more high-falutin’ dishes worthy of the Food Network, but I prefer to cook things that I know most folks will really enjoy. And, most folks enjoy simple, easy to identify foods that taste really good.
This dip has such a great savory flavor and since it is hearty, needs a sturdy corn or tortilla chip or buttery cracker to do it justice. If you do have any leftover – and you probably won’t – I’ve also found it to be a nice add-in to a green salad.
Confetti Corn Dip
2 cans MexiCorn drained
1 can chopped green chiles drained
4 green onions (finely chopped)
1 8 oz. cream cheese
1 8 oz. sour cream (may add more if wanted)
1 pkg. ranch dip powder
1 seeded and finely chopped jalapeno pepper – optional
Drain both of the canned items. Mix everything together. Refrigerate at least an hour before serving.
What are You Selling?
My handsome half and I recently returned from a business (yes, really!) trip to Las Vegas. We were only there for 2 nights and our first night there we simply strolled the Strip taking in the bright lights and sights. And, what sights there were to behold.
Now, before I really get into what I want to blog about today, let me say up front that I’m not a prude. I am a big believer that folks feel and look better in clothes that fit well and make the most of your best features. Having said that, I also believe that there is a time and place for exposed body parts. But most of those times and places are and should be in private. Period.
So, what dismayed me – and I found out later, my handsome half as well – were all the young adult
women who were walking around dressed like (there’s no other way to say it adequately) skanks. I’ve never seen SO many young women dressed – if you can call it that – in things that were either too tight, too short, too low, too revealing or a combination thereof. I wasn’t expecting it. And, no they weren’t “pros.”. The pros had marketing teams out all along the Strip passing out business cards to any interested parties.
Now I don’t believe for a moment that all of the young women I observed – and there were A LOT – were actually skanks. That would be an unfair assessment. But I do have to admit that I wanted to stop them and ask, “What are you thinking?” and “What are you trying to sell?” “Is what you’re selling a casual-I’m-available–for-whatever-it-won’t cost- you-anything-but-dinner-hook-up?” Just curious. And, if I were actually brazen enough to ask any of those questions, I have a feeling that responses would range from “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” to “I want to look hot.” To which I would respond, “well you look like a “pro” – which I’m sure you’re not because the pros aren’t walking the streets but are sitting by the phone waiting for a call from anyone who took a card from their marketing team.” But, I didn’t ask and I didn’t make any comments. I am, however blogging about it.
Why? Because as a woman, I think it is very sad when the first impression a young woman wants to present to the world has nothing to do with who they are as a person: Their intelligence, character, personality, respect for themselves, etc. Oh, but wait, perhaps that is exactly what they ARE doing. So if their outward appearance is an accurate portrayal of who they are as a person then that, indeed, is VERY sad. And alarming.
You’re Hired!
The bad news: The economy is not good and it’s an employer’s market. The good news: There are some simple ways you can make yourself standout in the search process that will increase your chances of being hired in a highly competitive job market.
I’ve known and know quite a few CEOs, small business owners, have owned a business and have interviewed for jobs myself, so I think that I have a fairly accurate understanding about what an employer is looking for. And, besides a candidate’s objective qualifications, if you were to ask any given interviewer, I’d be willing to bet that they would say that they are looking for someone that they would like to work with – someone they “like.” Remember that both the employee and employer will over time be developing a work relationship. And, just like a personal relationship, it really helps to respect and like the person you’re working with. So just what do employers “like?” I believe that there are only two things that really matter:
- Conscientiousness which is first recognized by the quality and accuracy of your resume. Then when you do land that first interview, how you are dressed and present yourself is critical. Get help and assistance from an objective, professional source and not your BFF who may love you but may also know less than you do. Do research into the field and/or company position you’re applying for so that you’ll look “the part.” Never forget that you only get one chance to make a good first impression. And, then make that critical positive second impression by following up with a hand written note of thanks for the interviewer’s time. Do this for every interview you have with a different person within the organization. This note will also give you another “marketing” opportunity for your qualifications for the position. And, please don’t shoot yourself in the foot: No thank you e-mails or texts (absolutely NOT acceptable!). Write out your note by hand, begin with“Dear”, buy a stamp and drop it in snail mail.
- Enthusiasm for the job conveys a positive energy that others find infectious and attractive. It also puts you on their list of “candidates I like and would like to work with.” But this doesn’t mean that you should be over the top – overly animated, perky, etc. as that can be annoying and tiresome. Also, if you aren’t naturally emotive – or “acting” goes against your personality (i.e., you’re more reserved and quiet than outgoing and gregarious) – if you know your “stuff”, there will be a natural enthusiasm that breaks through when the interview discussion is about the job itself. Sincere enthusiasm during the interview gives you the opportunity to exhibit your passion for, interest in and qualifications for the job.
So there they are: 2 simple thoughts to keep in mind on your job search that will help you stand out from the crowd. If you are searching now, good luck – you’ll need it. But, I’m firmly convinced that if you earnestly do your part, the right job WILL find you!
Medora Online 