Was Mother’s Day a Disappointment?
It’s the day after. Many of you who are mothers had an absolutely marvelous Mother’s Day – but some of you didn’t. Some of you may, indeed, be depressed today because your expectations for Mother’s Day weren’t met and you feel unimportant, underappreciated and taken advantage of. Or, the day may depress you because it is a painful reminder of a loss: of a child, of your own mother, of estrangement from a child/children OR because you never had children and you wanted them. In particular, women who are mothers can be especially tender on this day and the people who care about these women need to be aware of and sensitive to this fact.
So what do you do if Mother’s Day was or is a challenging day? How do you pull out of the disappointed feelings – the envy at other’s bouquets, cards, candy, dinners out, etc. Especially if you received little if any recognition?
Well, first of all, allow yourself to have a good therapeutic, pain-purging cry – privately. And face it, whether we like it or not, for some, Mother’s Day can dredge up all sorts of emotions and expectations some of which you need to release safely. I believe that crying is one of the safest ways to do so. So after you’ve had your cry, wash your face and ponder exactly why you are disappointed and upset.
Perhaps your expectations are too high or demanding. Perhaps your own behavior toward your children has driven them away. The worse realization is that maybe – just maybe – your parenting style created self-centered people who don’t often think about other’s wants and needs. Or maybe, you did everything “right” and you still don’t receive deserving accolades.
Whatever the reason or reasons that you recognize as the cause of your discontent, keep this in mind: the day is over for another year. And, in that year, try to figure out some ways to ease the anxiety for yourself as the next Mother’s Day approaches. Need to mend some bridges? Then do so. Is your pain due to a sense of loss? Then identify someone to help that day – someone who may need attention or love, and give it to them. Are you too demanding (be honest with yourself!)? Then lower your expectations and be thankful for the recognition that you do receive. Do you have children who do the minimal amount because they are simply thoughtless? Then plan something that you want to do on that day that includes them and model the giving behavior you wish for them to adapt. Hopefully they’ll “get it” eventually.
If all else fails, just push through the day again next year realizing that it only happens once a year. And, you CAN get through it. Really. I’m speaking from experience.
Medora III’s Potato Salad
It’s an eternal debate: mustard based or mayonnaise based potato salad. Well, I grew up eating the following recipe which is my grandmother’s – Medora III – recipe. She is an anomaly as she has always said that she doesn’t like to cook. Yet, she is one of the most creative and best cooks I’ve ever known. This taught me a very valuable life lesson: even when you don’t like doing something, do it well anyway. And, she did.
One thing I wish to point out about this recipe – and what makes it different – is that she makes a dressing of some of the key ingredients found in most potato salad recipes. And, if you can make it ahead and let it sit in the refrigerater overnight, well…it goes from “good” to AMAZING!
Medora III’s Potato Salad
12 – ½ cup servings
Or
6 – 1 cup servings
2 ½ pounds of red potatoes (about 6 medium)
½ medium onion – diced
1 stalk of celery – diced
¾ tsp. salt
Boil the potatoes in salted water until “fork tender”. Drain the potatoes and allow to cool to room temperature. Peel the potatoes and cut into cubes. Place cubes in 2 ½ quart glass bowl. Add diced onion, celery and salt. Cover and refrigerate overnight or for 6 – 8 hours.
Dressing:
4 boiled eggs cooled and peeled
½ tsp. garlic powder
¼ tsp. salt
½ tsp pepper
2 shakes of hot pepper sauce
3 TBSP. sweet pickle relish
½ cup mayonnaise
On a small plate, mash the eggs then put in a small mixing bowl. Add the next 6 ingredients and mix well.
Add the dressing to the potatoes and mix gently but well. Garnish with pepper and/or paprika and/or a sliced hard boiled egg.
Optional Add Ins (with the dressing):
6 pieces of cooked, crumbled bacon
1 TBSP. chopped black olive
Write a “Love Letter”
Strawberry Pretzel Salad
Did you know that May is national salad month? Well, neither did I until recently. So, in keeping with the spirit of the merry ol’ month of May, I’m going to share with you some of the salad recipes that I’ve found to be crowd pleasers. I also can’t yet get away from wanting dishes that contain the delicious strawberries that were the focus of last month’s recipes. So consider this recipe as a transition from one month’s theme to the next.
In addition to posting only salad recipes this month, these recipes are unique in that they are ones that my salad-phobic handsome half will eat. In fact, here’s the recipe for one of his favorites – probably because it contains absolutely nothing green – and it has strawberries!
STRAWBERRY PRETZEL SALAD
Preheat oven 350°.
First Layer:
2 cups of finely crushed salted pretzels
1 ½ sticks of unsalted melted butter
3 TBSPS. of sugar
In a medium mixing bowl, combine all ingredients and press into the bottom of a 9 X 13 pan. Bake in 350° for 8 – 10 minutes. Remove from oven and cool completely – about 30 – 45 minutes.
Second Layer:
8 ounces of cream cheese
3 TBSPS. milk
1 cup sugar
9 ounces of thawed cool whip
In a large mixing bowl, combine cream cheese, milk and sugar and beat until smooth with an electric mixer. Stir in the cool whip until well combined. Spread evenly on top of the cooled pretzel crust.
Third Layer:
2 3 ounce boxes (4 serving size) of strawberry flavored Jello gelatin
2 cups boiling water
2 10 ounce packages of thawed frozen strawberries
In a large mixing bowl, stir together the Jello packages and the boiling water until completely dissolved. Add the frozen strawberries, stir well and place in the refrigerator for about 30 minutes to an hour until the mixture is thick enough to evenly spread over the top of the cream cheese/pretzel base. Refrigerate until firm – at least 2 – 3 hours – before cutting and serving.
Easy to Talk to
It happens everytime I attend a social gathering. As I’m mixing and mingling, getting to know folks I’ve just met or getting re-acquainted with those I haven’t seen in awhile, I find myself in deep conversation with someone who is divulging deep concerns, secrets, etc. 99% of the time, these conversations are with someone whom I’ve never met. And, almost every single time, during the course of the conversation, they’ll say, “I can’t believe that I’m telling/sharing with you all of ‘this’! What do you do?” I usually explain that I’m a “relationship expert” and then give a very brief explanation as to what qualifies me as an expert. But, in reality, “what I do” is simple…….I listen.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have strong opinions about most things which I’m not shy about expressing if asked. But, I am one of those people who find other people more interesting than myself. As I’ve said numerous times, I know my own story too well. What I don’t know is other peoples’ stories – and most of them are fascinating. Plus, I think that other folks sense that whatever they tell me will not be used against them in any way – and it won’t. Ever.
And, that talent – being able to listen before commenting – is what, in the words of a television producer I’ve worked with, makes me “so easy to talk to.” Please don’t think I’m bragging because I’m not. Rather, I’m sharing a key trait to relationship building: listening to the other. Try it. BUT, remember that whatever is shared need not be shared with anyone else. Doing so is gossip which is a very bad thing. Discretion, however, in all things is a good and is another key to building strong relationships.
Strawberry Cake
O.K. – here it is folks – the QUEEN of my strawberry recipes. But, first, before we “crown the queen” (i.e., bake and eat it) a little background on this recipe.
I once worked with a lady who was named very appropriately: Lillian Lovelady. Why do I consider her to be named “appropriately,” you ask? Well, first of all I love name alliterations – they usually just roll off of the tongue, like “Lillian Lovelady” or “Mary Medora” (Medora II’s name!) Second, I LOVE the name Lillian or any derivation thereof – like Lily, Lillie or Lil. Finally, her last name – Lovelady – just so aptly described her personality as she was truly a “lovely lady” and a lady who knew how to love folks. And, one way she loved folks was to cook really good food for them.
Anytime there was a company party, she’d bring this cake. We begged and pleaded for the recipe – and she’d always tell us that she had to find the time to write it down because she made it from memory. It wasn’t until we decided to publish a company cookbook with contributions from the folks who worked for the company that we were able to get her to write the recipe down and share it. It was worth the wait. I made it as soon as copies were available and – EUREKA! – it tasted just as good as if Miss Lillian had made it herself.
Lillian Lovelady’s Strawberry Cake
Cake
1 small box strawberry Jello
1 pint of frozen strawberries, thawed (reserve 2 TBSPS. for icing)
1 cup butter – softened
2 cups sugar
3 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
4 eggs
½ cup milk
Preheat oven to 350°. Spray 2 9” cake pans with baking spray with flour.
In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add Jello and strawberries and beat until well blended. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.
In a medium mixing bowl, sift together the flour and baking powder. Add to butter mixture alternately with the milk. Beat well for about 2 minutes, scraping the sides of the bowl.
Pour into the prepared cake pans and bake for 45 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean. Let cool in pans for 10 minutes, remove and place on wire racks to cool completely before icing.
Icing
1 cup butter, softened
1 box of confectioners sugar (4 cups)
2 TSPS. of the reserved frozen strawberries
½ tsp. red food coloring
1 tsp. vanilla extract
In a large mixing bowl, mix all ingredients with an electric mixer until completely blended. Frost cake. Refrigerate until ready to serve then refrigerate any leftover cake.
It’s the Little Things
Recently, I was having a lovely visit with one of my favorite people. She is a young single mother – doing an admirable job with her young son – who finds herself in a relationship with a wonderful man. They are compatible, he likes her son and he does little things to please her. And, she’s getting scared.
So, I asked her why she was scared – what was it about him that concerned her the most? Her answer: he hasn’t performed a “grand gesture” that she thinks would prove once and for all his devotion and everlasting love. She’s had her heart broken several times and is gun shy. I asked her what grand gesture she had in mind. She stumbled around to answer but couldn’t really come up with anything concrete.
She then proceeded to talk about all of his shortcomings – none of which were particularly alarming. So I asked her to fill in this blank: He would be perfect except for_______. She couldn’t really come up with an answer and agreed that while he wasn’t perfect – far from it – she could live with his faults and imperfections and he seemed to be fine with hers. I told her that was excellent news and that it actually sounded as if they were perfect for each other.
But she still wanted that “grand gesture.” So, I asked her about all of those little things he does for her and for her son. She began talking about that and the list was quite long – much longer than his list of shortcomings. I asked her if all those little things added up? Don’t they count? She thought a moment and realized that, yes, they did. I pointed out that oftentimes folks who make those “grand gestures” aren’t as sincere – because those gestures are for show – as those who just simply do the small and simple things for someone they love because they know that it will please them.
Our discussion reminded me of words from a Carly Simon song, …”it’s the stuff that dreams are made of – the slow and steady fire…”. After we finished visiting, I told her that I look forward to attending her wedding – even though there has been no proposal. She blushed and said that, yes, that is where she saw the relationship headed as they both loved each other very much. She then thanked me for helping her realize some things. He’s a lucky man – and I’ll be he knows it.
Strawberry Bread
I usually make strawberry bread at Christmas and give it as gifts. However, why wait for Christmas? Especially when strawberries are in season and can add a seasonal flavor that can’t be achieved in the middle of winter. This bread is good as a snack, for breakfast or even as a “sandwich” made from 2 slices with cream cheese in between. This is all kinds of yum!
Strawberry Bread
2 cups fresh, chopped strawberries
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup sugar
1 ½ cups flour
1 cup of sugar
1 ½ tsp. cinnamon
½ tsp. salt
½ tsp. baking powder
½ cup + 2 TBSPS. vegetable oil
2 eggs
½ cup chopped toasted nuts (optional)
Place chopped strawberries in a small to medium saucepan and add the 1/3 cup of water and 1/3 cup of sugar. Mix well and bring to a boil over medium heat. Boil for one minute, stirring constantly – then remove from heat and let cool for at least 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350°. Grease a standard sized (8 1/2 x 4 1/2 x 2 1/2 inches) loaf pan.
Whisk together flour, 1 cup of sugar, cinnamon, salt and baking powder on a large mixing bowl. In a small bowl, combine oil, eggs and cooled strawberries. Make a “well” in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the liquid ingredients. Stir well – scraping the sides of the bowl – to blend.
Add the nuts and then pour into the greased loaf pan. Bake for 50 – 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Remove from oven – allow to cool in pan for 10 minutes – then remove bread from pan and place on wire rack to finish cooling completely. When cool, dust with confectioner’s sugar and slice to serve.
Arrgh!!! Why WON’T He Grow UP??!!??
Of all of the complaints that I hear from young women about their boyfriend/fiance/husband – the complaint that he “won’t grow up” probably tops the list. Which presents one of the more frustrating dichotomies of life: girls/women do seem to mature faster than boys/men.
So, what do you do if you find yourself involved with or married to a boy-man who is less mature than you’d like? How can you make him “grow up?” Well…..you can’t. And he can’t either – at least not immediately or on demand. “Growing up” takes time so if you love him, you’ll just have to be patient. Sorry to have to be the bearer of that news – but it’s the reality.
Think about it – can you hurry along a child’s maturation process? No. It happens over time and evolves as a child experiences life, faces consequences of behavior, etc. So it is with all humans. Some folks just take longer than others. And no amount of coercion, cajoling, nagging, etc. will speed up the pace at which it takes for any given person to “grow up.”
Another thing to keep in mind is this: it’s important to realize – no vital – that for a romantic relationship to thrive and survive, each person MUST accept the other for who they are, how they are and where they are in life. Anything less is conditional love. And, who wants or needs that?
Strawberry Pie
This was and is one of my children’s favorite pie recipes. It’s loaded with fresh strawberries, is quite tasty and can also be made with sugar-free Jello if you want or need to cut down on some calories. However, even with regular Jello, this pie is more figure-friendly than most other pies. It’s especially pleasing as the temperatures begin rising with a dollop of some sort of cool, creamy goodness.
Strawberry Pie
In a medium saucepan, whisk together:
1 cup sugar
4 TBSPS. cornstarch
1 cup water
Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until thick. Remove from heat.
Add:
1 small box strawberry Jello
Let cool for 30 minutes and then add 2 cups of fresh sliced strawberries. Mix together well. Pour into a baked 9” pie shell and refrigerate until firm.
Slice and serve with Cool Whip, sweetened whipped cream or Redi-Whip.
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