Spring and Courtship
Spring is upon us and as Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote in his classic poem Locksley Hall, “ …in the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love…” And, if this is true, it means that there is probably many a young man out there lookin’ for love.
Looking for love – back in the dinosaur era – meant that a young man went “courting.” And, when he identified someone who caught his eye and his heart, he pursued her – courted her. If the object of his desire was likewise inclined, they entered into a courtship to determine whether or not their mutual attraction might be suitable for something more permanent.
Courtship….what an old fashioned word…..and what a lovely concept. The website, webiq.com has this to say about “courtship.”
“Courtship (sometimes called dating or going steady) is the process of selecting and attracting a mate for marriage. In Japan, there is a type of courtship called Omiai. It is a formal date with the intention of finding someone to marry.”
Today, in Western societies, a date is an occasion when one socializes with a potential lover or spouse. In this sense, the purpose of a date is for the people dating to get to know each other and decide whether they want to have a relationship. Dating – rather than courtship – may be the term describing the relationship of two people attending a date, but other terms are often used: going out with, hanging out with, etc. And, these terms can imply different degrees of physical involvement, commitment and monogamy.
I shocked some young twenty-somethings recently when I said that now it seems that “dating” is code for “I’m having sex with this person” versus “hanging out” which is code for what used to be called “dating” but now is code for “I’m not having sex with this person.” The twenty-somethings were somewhat taken aback – but no one disagreed with my observation.
But I don’t really want to write about various degrees of commitment and monogamy as it relates to dating (or courtship) or dissect associated code words. Rather I want to focus this month on dating and courtship in direct relation to their original purpose – to find a spouse. So, for the month of March – the beginning of Spring when “a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love” – I’ll be writing about the 3 “Cs” that I believe comprise a successful courtship – success being defined as ultimately culminating in a marriage. Next week, I’ll be talking about the first “C” – connection.
Chili Downunder A.K.A.This-Should-Win-an-Award-Chili
I live in Texas where any cook worth anything has a chili recipe that they’ve developed along the way or inherited from a family member. Making chili can get right down competitive as evidenced by the number of chili cook offs and contests held throughout the state.
I’ve held off ever entering one primarily because I didn’t feel worthy to do so as I’m not a native Texan and always felt that somehow this made you better qualified to enter and compete against master chili makers. It has also taken me awhile to develop a recipe that receives my handsome half’s highest acclaim of “this is pretty good.” I know he means it when he asks for leftover chili as he normally turns up his nose at leftovers of any kind.
So, this year – after having finally developed a recipe for “this is pretty good” chili, I felt emboldened to enter a chili cook-off. I’ll admit that I was a bit perplexed when I didn’t even place in the cook-off. But I really didn’t mind as I had folks coming back for seconds and thirds. So, I wasn’t disappointed at not winning/placing but was rather gratified that I had cooked a chili that seemed to be a real crowd pleaser.
Here’s my recipe. I call it “Chili Down Under” because I use an Australian beer, Foster’s, as one of the key ingredients. That may be heresy here in Texas – to use an Australian beer – but it sure makes for a different recipe name!
Chili Down Under
or
This Should Win an Award Chili
1 pound of pork: finely cubed, fine diced or stir fry slices OR you could use 1 pound of pork sausage. I prefer using regular pork – you may have to ask a butcher to cut/slice it up to get the right texture for the chili. The cut/slice you want is either “fine diced” or “stir fry.” It’ll look like shreds of pork.
6 pounds of either lean beef stew meat or lean chuck roast: finely cubed, fine diced or stir fry slices. You may have to ask a butcher to cut/slice it up to get the right texture for the chili. The cut/slice you want is either “fine diced” or “stir fry.” It’ll look like shreds of beef.
1 – 2 TBSPS. bacon drippings
2 onions – finely chopped
1 jalapeño (seeded and finely diced)
2 – 3 large tomatoes (2 cups) – finely chopped
1 4 ounce can of mild green chilies
2 bell peppers – seeded and finely diced/chopped
2 1 ounce packages of chili seasoning mix
2 4 ¾ ounce cans of tomato puree OR 1 10 ½ ounce can
2 ½ TBSPS. ground cumin
1 TBSP. smoked paprika
2 tsps. red pepper flakes
2 tsps. cayenne pepper
1 TBSP. salt
2 tsps. ground black pepper
5 cloves chopped garlic
2 tsps. fine herbes
1 25 ounce can of Foster’s Premium Ale
4 TBSPS. masa harina
Brown pork and beef in bacon drippings. Add onions and cook until they are transparent. Add remaining ingredients except for the masa harina and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Turn heat down to low and simmer for 3 hours. Sprinkle with masa harina, stir well, bring to a boil again and simmer until thickened.
This chili is best when made one day, re-heated and served the next.
Keep Those Cards and Letters Coming
If there is no one in line behind me when I’m at a store check-out, I often enjoy briefly visiting with the clerk. I especially enjoy it if the clerk is a teenager or twenty something as I like to get their perspective on things. For me, it’s more than just being friendly, it’s research.
So, today, while I was purchasing a get well card for a friend who has just undergone multiple surgeries, the clerk noticed the card, read it and gave his approval of my purchase. He asked why I was sending it. I told him and then we began the discussing the merits of sending cards versus phoning, e-mails, texts, etc. I said that – in reality – to maintain close connections and deepen relationships we need to do it all. And, I pointed out, folks of all ages still like opening old-fashioned snail mail. He said that his generation doesn’t send much – if any – snail mail. Everything they do is done digitally.
How sad, if he is correct. While any type of communication is appreciated, the experience of opening mail and reading someone’s handwritten sentiments is like no other. I think it must be in part because each person’s handwriting is unique to them. So, in a sense, receiving something written by hand – whether a letter or a simple signature on a card –is like receiving a portion of that person. It’s truly personal. Anything digitally communicated – not so much.
Let’s, then, not forget to keep some of the “old ways” – like snail-mailed cards and letters – as doing so is truly meaningful in ways you probably haven’t considered. One of which – and probably the most important – is that it is just one more way to stay connected to those we care about and love.
Yummy, Moist and Meaty Pot Roast
One thing I really enjoy is swapping and sharing recipes. It is a wonderful way to connect and bond with folks. And, one of my favorite people in the world – my Cousin Faye from Louisville, Mississippi – writes letters and mails me recipes on a regular basis that have either been in the family for years or ones that she comes across that she knows I’d like to try. This is one of those recipes.
Faye is special to me not only because she writes to me on a regular basis, but primarily because of her kindness to me when I was a child and lived in the country across the road from her. She was the fun adult in our family and enjoyed loading up her car with her nieces, nephew and little cousins to go have fun somewhere – the local lake, drive in movie, etc. She never had children of her own, but believe me, because of her loving investment in time with us as children – and now as adults – we all feel like we are “hers.” One thing that makes my heart smile is when she reminds me how she feels in her letters. I am thought about. I am prayed for. I am loved. Thank you, Cousin Faye.
CROCK POT ROAST BEEF
2 – 4 pound boneless chuck roast
1 TBSP olive oil
2 TBSP. Worcestershire sauce
1 envelope dry onion soup mix
1 can of cream of mushroom soup (do not add water!)
Heat olive oil in a large skillet or Dutch oven over medium high heat and sear the roast on both sides. Remove roast and place in a crock pot.
Sprinkle Worcestershire sauce and dry onion soup mix on top of the roast and pour on the soup. Use a spatula to spread the soup around over the top. Cover and cook on low for 8 hours.
To use the gravy from the roast, when the roast is done, remove it from the crock pot, place it on a serving platter. Pour the gravy into a degreasing cup OR pour into a bowl and place in the freezer for 30 minutes so that the fat will congeal at the top. If using the freezer method of de-greasing the gravy, place the roast back into the crock pot on low and cover with lid to keep it warm. After 30 minutes, remove the gravy from the freezer, remove the layer of fat at the top, place the gravy in the microwave for 2 – 3 minutes to warm. Remove roast from crock pot and serve with gravy.
If you have and use a de-greasing cup, you can serve the roast immediately.
Alternative cooking method: Place roast in an oven proof Dutch oven after searing, add other ingredients per the above directions and bake in a 250° oven for 6 – 8 hours or until the roast is fork tender. Follow the same directions on how to use the gravy, but replace the roast in the Dutch oven while waiting for the fat from the gravy to congeal.
Alternative serving method: When the roast is done – it should be VERY tender – remove it from the pot and cut off any excess fat. Using 3 forks, shred the roast and place portions on buns to make sandwiches. Add a little gravy to keep things moist and yummy!
I’m SO Over Celebrity Worship
Celebrity worship is nothing new. If you’ve studied history, at every time and place throughout recorded human history, there have been people who have seemingly risen above the masses and exhibited certain traits or talents that others envy, admire and/or emulate. I’m sure that even in the age of the cave people, there were those who were deemed to be worthy of adulation.
So it is with our current day. Most of us, to some degree, get caught up in the cult of celebrity. We’re fascinated with fame and both consciously and subconsciously we want to be like, walk like, dress like….them. And, we don’t even know who “them” really are. Until, that is, their lives crash and burn and we, the adoring masses, wonder just how it can be that someone so talented, so blessed has as many problems and issues – if not more – than the rest of us. It is only then – unless they take to YouTube to broadcast their issues to the entire universe – that we learn of the sordid details of their lives. And, the wise among us realize the celebrity we admired – perhaps even idolized – had very weak feet of clay.
Which brings me to the topic that makes my hair explode. Our priorities and subjects of adulation are misplaced. Celebrities entertain, enthrall and fascinate. Period. Big deal. When it all boils down, what do any or most of them REALLY do for humanity? Yes, many create artistically and bring beauty to an often dreary world. Some are altruistic and use their celebrity to draw attention to worthy causes. And that is a good thing. BUT, in comparison, soldiers and first responders protect and defend our enjoyment of those entertainments AND PUT THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE for YOU to do so. They are the real heroes and should be the icons we revere, celebrate, have 7 days of media headline news coverage and fly our flags at half-mast for.
So if we were to have our priorities in proper order, soldiers and 1st responders would be the icons we would revere, celebrate, have 7 days of media headline coverage and fly our flags at half mast for. Not for an entertainer who – very sadly – left this world prematurely. I feel for her family – truly – as I would for anyone who suffers a first degree loss. For the rest of us, we really need to put it into perspective and honor those whose lives – and sacrifices – really and significantly impact us. If you live in the U.S.A., it is because of those sacrifices that you are free – not because of an entertainer. Please ponder this truth.
How to Attract AND Keep the Man of Your Dreams
O.K. single ladies, you GOTTA listen up here.
I’ve been on 3 different television shows and participated in a chili cook-off and pie contest over the past week. And, within this same week, this very happily married woman has been asked: “Are you single?”, “Since you’re married, do you have a daughter who is single?” AND ….drum roll…. “Will you marry me?” Why? Because of my cooking. Seriously.
Whenever I share my personal stories of bringing grown men to the brink of tears and receiving multiple marriage proposals because of my cooking to some women, I invariably receive that judgmental up and down once over that most women – especially the really beautiful and/or “hot” ones – reflexively tend to give other women when they can’t quite comprehend what-in-the-world does THIS female specimen have to offer a man that I don’t? I love it when they do that and it doesn’t bother me one bit. Why, might you ask? Well, it’s because I know a worst-kept-secret that they choose to ignore – and this is sad – because they mistakenly believe that they’ll ALWAYS be as beautiful and hot-looking as they were at 25 or 30. Or, worse, they’ll try so hard to maintain their beauty/hotness that they eventually morph into a petrified remain of their former self. And, they mistakenly think that all they need is to look beautiful and hot to attract and keep a man. BUT, what they don’t want to admit – or, again, choose to ignore – is the fact that when it comes to beauty and hotness, Mother Nature and time always win. Always. So, if they are banking strictly on their looks, I hope that they have lucked out and found a really great guy who looks beyond the physical beauty. It happens. But not often…..
So it has been that I have received several of those once-overs from disbelieving women. I wasn’t boasting – besides, if it’s true, you aren’t bragging – and I didn’t just offer up my week’s experiences, these women asked about the various television shows I’d been on and truly wanted to know the details. So I shared the details and my amusement at the long-held truth that the way to a man’s heart – ANY man’s – was, indeed through his stomach. They didn’t want to hear that.
Now, those above questions that were posed to me weren’t done so because the men were being polite, flirting, trying to flatter me or borrow money. They all approached me – I didn’t approach them. In one instance, there was a circle of about 6 men who gathered around me and urged me to continue broadcasting the message to women about what really makes them happy and what THEY are looking for. I promised them that I would.
The above questions came from 3 different men at different times and were elicited because I had simply made something to eat that all 3 of those younger-men-I-could-have-given-birth-to REALLY liked. This has happened to me numerous times as I seemingly have a repertoire of man-pleasing recipes. In fact, most – if not all – of the recipes that I post on this blog site (see “Foodie Fridays”) are ones that have at various times elicited sighs, moans and looks of love from men-folk of ALL ages.
So, take note. There really isn’t anything special about me to garner such a reaction from men – although my handsome half might argue with me about that. He thinks that I am special. For me, his is the only opinion that matters. Ever. And, if you too want a man who thinks you are special enough to make a life with – then after you attract him with your beauty, accomplishments, etc., feed him. It really is that simple. Make it something that HE wants. He’ll feel loved and cared for and you won’t have to say a word. Good food speaks for itself.
Cherry Almond Coconut Macaroon Cookies: My Future Son-in-Law’s Favorite
I made points with my future son-in-law when he was visiting recently. He and my daughter were over for dinner and I had an array of desserts – pies, cakes and these macaroons. Somehow he had missed them on his first trip through the buffet line but found them just as they were leaving. He tried one and the look on his face was pure ecstasy. Really. I said to him that I was pleased that he liked them so much and asked him what was so special about them that they evoked the reaction they did from him. His response? “Coconut and cherries – what more can you ask for?” That darlin’ boy got to take the rest home.
Cherry Almond Coconut Macaroons
Makes 2 dozen
1 14 ounce bag of sweetened flaked coconut
½ cup sugar
¼ cup all-purpose flour
¼ tsp. salt
4 egg whites
¼ tsp. almond extract
½ cup finely chopped maraschino cherries
Preheat oven to 325°.
Line a baking or cookie sheet with parchment paper (not wax paper).
In a food processor pulse the coconut a few seconds so that the coconut shreds are chopped into smaller pieces. Do not over process.
In a large bowl, combine processed coconut, sugar, flour and salt. Beat at medium speed with an electric mixer until well combined.
Add egg whites and almond extract and beat until well blended. Stir in cherries.
Drop by tablespoons 2 inches apart onto the parchment paper lined cookie sheet.
Bake for 18 – 20 minutes or until edges are slightly browned.
Remove from oven and let cool on pans for 2 minutes.
Remove from pans and cool completely on wire racks.
Store in an airtight containers.
Did Your Valentine Disappoint You?
It’s the day after. Many of you had an absolutely marvelous Valentine’s Day – and many of you didn’t. Some of you may, indeed, be depressed today because your Valentine either didn’t celebrate the day with you as you had envisioned or they didn’t do much at all – if anything.
So what do you do? How do you pull out of the disappointed feelings – the envy at other’s bouquets, cards, candy….or expensive jewelry? Particularly the expensive jewelry? You know what I’m talking about. The ring. The rock. That one piece of jewelry that most women in a serious relationship are hoping for if they don’t already have it – an engagement ring.
Well, first of all, after you’ve allowed yourself to have a good therapeutic, pain-purging cry – and face it, whether we like it or not, Valentine’s Day dredges up all sorts of emotions and expectations – wash your face and ponder exactly why you are disappointed. Is your serious relationship a long-term one and your fella just won’t move to that final commitment even though you’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting? Have you ever really asked yourself why? Does he even want to commit….to you or to anyone?
I had someone call me recently to discuss their relationship and its perceived deficiencies. After listening, my simple response was this: Actions speak much louder than words. If the one you love and want to make a life with isn’t acting like that is the same thing they have in mind and moving towards/talking about that same end, then you need to re-think the relationship. People will often stay in a relationship until they find someone else, or because it is convenient or comfortable. They might have no intention of making that final commitment because the other person (you) – in reality – isn’t “the one.” That doesn’t mean that your love-interest is a bad person. But, it might just mean that the relationship is bad…..for you.
Now, this is a hard reality to accept – especially when you are in love with a person who isn’t responding to you the way that you need them to respond. But the best thing you can do for yourself, is to come to terms with and accept the reality, cut bait, give yourself time to recover from the heartbreak and then go fish in another pond.
Trust me when I tell you that somewhere – out there – there IS someone meant just for you. And, one day – when you do find that special someone who is as nuts about you as you are about them – just about every day will be Valentine’s Day. You see, the right relationship “feels” that way for both parties.
It’s Almost Here…
Yeah…..the big DAY….it’s almost here. The day that romantics live for and the rest of the universe dreads: Valentine’s Day.
Which brings me to something funny that happened to me recently that reminded me of shopping for Valentine’s Day. I went grocery shopping on Super Bowl Sunday during the very beginning of the game. I know, I know – almost blasphemous to do so to some. However, I figured it would be a great time as most everyone else would be at a watch party of some kind. And, I was correct.
So I happily navigated my grocery cart down unobstructed aisles and merrily shopped for the things on my lengthy list, having no problem finding all the needed items. I was preparing for a cooking segment the next day on a local TV morning show and one of the items on my list was a bag of round tortilla chips.
Turning the corner of the chip aisle, I noticed a woman standing in front of the section I was headed for taking a picture with her phone. I was puzzled until I reached her and noticed that the entire section was almost completely empty of tortilla chips. Zero, zip, nada save for – and I counted them – 2 crushed bags of regular chips and 1 lone bag of the round variety which became mine. So glad she didn’t want them – she was there first – which would have thrown my timing off (I would have had to go to another store) which meant that I would miss the Superbowl halftime show.
Fortunately for me, she was there to simply document the sight of the empty shelves and we shared a good laugh. The men must have been the ones shopping as the chips are all gone – yet there seemed to be plenty of anything else in the store – she said. I agreed and said that all a man needs for a party is beer, chips and a can of bean dip. I didn’t actually check the beer or bean dip supply, but I suspect that both were in low supply or non-existant as well.
So why does that experience remind me of Valentine’s Day? Well, because I remember an episode of “Married With Children” where Al Bundy was battling another man for the last remaining mangled Valentine’s Day card, damaged heart shaped box of chocolates and wilted rose at a store. You had to have seen it to understand how hilarious the episode was and how it captured the fear that strikes the heart of a man who realizes that Valentine’s Day has snuck up on him…..and he has nothing. Zero, zip, nada.
So, you fellas out there, here’s a heads up that tomorrow is THE day. Get thee to a store and buy something that will appropriately relay your feelings AND that fits within your budget. She may say it doesn’t matter all that much, that Valentine’s Day should be everyday, blah, blah, blah. And she’s right – every day SHOULD be Valentine’s Day. But, YOU better not forget because she sure hasn’t and won’t. Trust me.
My Husband’s Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies
Whenever I make this recipe for my handsome half, he almost tears up from shear joy. He has his own special treat plate with a glass dome where cookies such as these are stored. I love watching him enjoy something I’ve made for him knowing full well that as he enjoys whatever it is, his mouth is doing a happy dance.
Double Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes about 5 dozen
Preheat oven 375°
Ingredients:
3 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking soda
¾ tsp salt
1 1/3 cups butter, softened
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 eggs
4 tsp. Mexican vanilla extract, if available – if not, use pure vanilla extract
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup milk chocolate chips
½ cup toasted chopped walnuts or pecans pieces (optional)
Mix Together:
Flour, baking soda & salt in a medium bowl – set aside. Beat butter and sugars in large bowl with an electric mixer on medium speed until light & fluffy. Add eggs & vanilla & mix well. Gradually beat in the flour mixture on low speed until well mixed. Stir in chocolate chips & optional nuts.
Drop by rounded tablespoons about 2 inches apart onto ungreased baking sheets or cookie pans.
Bake on preheated oven 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from oven and let cool for 1 minute before removing cookies to a wire rack to cool completely.
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